Breaking up is hard to do. I am not sure at what point the average person comes to learn this, I am only sure that by adulthood, the majority of us do. And hard as it is, we know that in all likelihood, there will come a time that we will do it again, making love always a bit bittersweet. My time is now. Even though I have done this so many times before that it feels too high to count, I am ready to do it again. Beneath the sadness there is the slight tug of exhilaration; with every ending there is a perceived beginning, and I am anticipating the start even as I mourn the end.
I am not alone; newspapers are full of hopeful people and their abbreviated criteria for a future that is significantly different than the past. Though every age, color and creed is represented in the personals section, the language of search is universal. SWF ISO . . . . “single white female in search of . . . .” anything or anyone could fill in that blank.
But I will not be placing an ad after this break up. I am not in search of a new mate, having found one I would like to keep. Where is the break then? I am breaking up with me. I am separating from the me who is a saboteur, the person who quietly stabs me in the back just as I reach for the prize. I am packing up the belongings of the person who does not respect my tomorrows, and squanders the promise of future dreams for today’s gratification. I am forwarding the mail for the person who turns to food as a drug, instead of coping with problems, leaving me weighted down and stuck. I am leaving the me I have been for a very long time now. I am hoping that I will not miss her for long.
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I like how you use the metaphor of "breaking up" in comparing your life change through diet and exercise. You've brought a component of emotion and provoking thoughts that are more engaging than simply saying: this is my new goal.
ReplyDeleteVery good!
Stand by for some (very good) suggested editing this evening. :-)
ReplyDelete~H
Hooray for new beginnings! I enjoyed the metaphor of breaking up and searching for a new. Your writing style is very engaging.
ReplyDeleteAgreed very engaging, made me wonder 'what' ties you to your former self that you are leaving behind. And to be honest, we all have someone just like that inside of us. We may not use food as a drug, but do just the opposite - avoid food as your choice of drug. I can't wait to read more and to support you on this journey!
ReplyDeleteI suspect this will be a real page turner. I applaud the respect to the new with the identification of the old and useless.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to the blogs to come and the ending I am sure will be forever life-changing! Great work!
ReplyDeleteThis is very engaging. I loke the metaphor alot. Could open up some other possibilities for realted break-up metaphors later on, as they relate to your progress towards your goal. Messy break-up, re-bound relationships....stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteVery well written! I too love the metaphor you used. I look forward to reading more. =)
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